Why is it hard to let go of anxiety? Part 1.
The simple answer is that anxiety is a protector, and who wants to let go a protector that helped us survive in childhood and even in our adult life? A protector that makes sure we don’t get hurt, don’t feel pain or experience deep disappointment. So we worry, we overthink, we over analyze.
Anxiety is also a “friend” that pushes you to work hard, to hustle and achieve more. And achievement has become a big part of your life perhaps.
I had a friend over for dinner this week, and she deals with anxiety, just like all my clients. We had a great conversation about how she learned anxiety in her childhood and how it helped her to become highly successful in her career.
I get it, I truly do. Anxiety gives us a sense of high energy, it pushes us, it is fire under the belly.
This begs the question though, is this energy of pushing and achieving healthy? Fire is good until it burns us. Anxiety leads to burned out states.
How would you feel if you had to take six red bulls (energy drink) a day to get things done and by getting things done, you experience satisfaction, pleasure and success. Would you give up the red bull? The red bull is that fake energy, like anxiety. The most common sigs of anxiety are:
Poor sleep
Inability to chill and relax unless you have some wine
You can’t be present with your loving ones
Going on vacations and relaxing brings you more anxiety
Feeling exhausted
Thyroid issues
Brain fog and memory loss
You feel edgy, frustrated often at work and with family
By studying anxiety for years, I have come to understand that anxiety is a process of the thinking mind.
If it is a thinking process, like many self-help gurus say, just change your thinking and you eliminate anxiety. Ha! Not that easy. If that was the case, we would not have 40 millions Americans dealing with some kind of anxiety. My guess is that number is higher, because many people won’t go to a doctor to treat anxiety, so we don’t have the right number.
Anxiety itself isn’t painful, it is the ALARM feeling in the body that is, according to Dr. Russel Kennedy, M.D.
The root of the “alarm” AKA anxiety is found in our childhood. There is where we all learned anxiety. At some point, sometime, many of us lost the sense of safety, certainty and consistency during our early years. Children need safety, love, care, attention, consistency and stability. Even though most of us were loved by our parents, we didn’t necessarily feel completely safe and secure. We were constantly seeking in our environment for that sign of safety, love and certainty. And when we could not find those qualities, we manipulated, controlled what we could to find them.
Do you see where I am going here? Do you consider yourself a control freak? A perfectionist? Or simply someone with a lot of nervous energy? That is all due that alarm that got turned on in your childhood and never got turned off.
It is exhausting. I know.
I had functional anxiety my whole life and I finally cured myself. Here is how:
Awareness
Breath work
Inner child healing
Meditation
Practices to change the brain wiring
Exercise
And daily work.
Holidays can amplify anxiety for many people. Family, social gatherings, winter and pressure at work are examples of the triggers that can exacerbate anxiety.
I want to help. You don’t need to let anxiety rule your life and steal your life force and highjack your brain.
I am offering two initial coaching sessions for the price of one. Contact me for details and scheduling. Just reply to this email. This offer is good until DEC 25th.
On these sessions I will help you to understand the process of anxiety in your body/brain and will share specific practices for you that can help tremendously.
When you learn how to befriend the anxiety, you unleash new levels of energy, authentic energy. Your body will re-balance hormones and stress decreases significantly. You get back to feel yourself again, happy!
There is no magic pill, it is a process that I am happy to share with you.
Peace and love, Alex.