When did we stop loving ourselves?What did go wrong in humanity? What did go wrong in our childhood? How did we forget that innate feeling of love towards ourselves?This hit me the the other day as I was thinking about my own journey of returning to love, recovering my essence that got lost long time ago. What is authentic self LOVE? Let me start by stating what self love isn’t.

I am coming out of the closet! Ha, not in my romantic lifestyle preferences, that happened already in my 30’s! This time I am referring to my deep spiritual side, the spiritual teacher in me is coming out, I have been shy for too long. I am ready to share a lot with you, if you are interested. I have to say I have hard time using the “teacher” word because I feel much more as a student of the Spirit. When we really commit to walk on the spiritual path we become humble students of the Universe, Divine, Source, God, Quantum field…whatever you are comfortable calling this force that is the true creator of all.

Is unconscious fear corrupting your productivity and performance? If you worry a lot, if you struggle with anxiety, if you call yourself a “control freak”, if you feel overwhelmed most days, if you have difficulty sustaining focus, if you live in reaction mode, if your brain feels exhausted…the answer is YES, fear is corrupting your performance. You have that power because the brain is malleable, because you can change your mind and you can make choices that promote growth and healing.

Why work, which is supposed to be a place where we express our art, our talents and build relationships has become so stressful for so many? Is your stress really about work? Pause for a second and ask yourself: what is my participation in my own stress? Our perceptions, beliefs and expectations play a big part in the stress that we create for ourselves. Stress is all about perception, as you know. It is not a situation at work that causes you stress, it is what you think about it and feel about the situation that causes the internal turmoil and discomfort. I am speaking specifically about psychological and emotional stress. (Breath, diet, exercise, sleep, hydration are foundations that if not cared for will cause physiological stress)

What if I told you that your performance and productivity will increase if you commit to less actions and less effort? According to psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyl, author of Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, flow is the state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter. You have experienced this state many times, I am sure. Maybe running, mountain biking, writing or even having a great conversation with your best friend. It is a state where you are fully present, engaged and your mind isn’t thinking about anything in particular. You are just there, totally enjoying the moment and the action feels effortlessness.

Where are you abandoning yourself?

This is a great time of the year to have deeper reflections about your life, your year and evaluate what you want to leave behind and not carry into the new year. Abandonment issues are often discussed in therapist offices or with life coaches like myself. The question I have here for you today is not who abandoned you. I am much more interested in exploring the parts of you that you have abandoned. Have you abandoned your heart? Have you abandoned your body? Have you abandoned your soul calling?

Holidays are the times of great joy and also great stress for many people. I am speaking today about the stress of gatherings, families together. The stress may that uncle, that friend, the sister, the obnoxious brother in law, the mother in law…always someone right? Because you have the power to create new experiences, different experiences for yourself and even others. If you show up being the same person you were in the last holiday dinner, you may have the exact stressful same situation.

Anxiety is prevalent among high achievers, who are the type of clients I work with mostly. High achievers can be described as people who are very goal oriented and like to get things done. They have hard time not being busy, they neglect rest and deep recovery which can lead to imbalances of course, like burn out, fatigue, dis-ease, depression, weight gain and ironically more anxiety

As high achievers our intention from the beginning of our journey was clear, honorable, connected with a great cause...we are driven, motivated, disciplined, fearless in a lot of ways and at some point in time, somewhere we get lost...anxiety and struggle become the quiet energies running through us.

It is not enough. That is what is underneath our voices, that judger that we achievers have inside. That is our pain.