We yearn for the freedom to be our authentic selves, to experience love in its purest form, and to align our thoughts and actions with our core values. We desire the freedom of expression, allowing us to pursue our passions and make that our daily calling - a career. I call this the liberation of our heart and mind. What gets in the way of our freedom? Fear. As a devotee of Love, my role, when engaged by a client, is to guide them toward identifying and dismantling the barriers that obstruct their ability to feel, embody, and live a life filled with love.

Most people do not want to go to therapy, see a life coach, or engage in any inner work because of the fear of feeling.

What if the gem of truth that sets us free lies within those buried feelings? In my experience and all my studies of stress and disease, trauma and spirituality, feeling guides us towards healing if we are willing to acknowledge the truth.

Why do we fear the truth?

Many of my clients and friends often express discouragement, wondering how they can change their reactions and behaviors that no longer serve them. They feel trapped in patterns of anger and frustration and finally surrender, saying, "I don't know how."

I can relate to their struggles because I, too, have experienced moments of frustration in my therapist/teacher's office and even during my introspective times alone. Trying hard to change ourselves and the outcomes in our lives, we sometimes feel as though we are not making any progress. This can lead us to believe that something is wrong with us.

We don’t feel safe .Covid times amplified the sense of “I am not safe” for many people. People who were already struggling with fear related to trust, closeness and social engagements became even more fearful. The message all day long in the news was very strong - “Don’t be with people, they may make you sick and you may even die.” We stoped listening to each other The polarization became so bad that we could not just have a conversation about our different ideas and learn from each other. True connection carries compassion and curiosity. Can we get curious instead of judgmental? It is a choice.

In a state of curiosity and compassion we say things like “tell me more”, or “talk to me about your beliefs behind that decision”. In a state of fear and separation we judge, we shame, we react. We make others wrong.

What I call madness is the anxieties of our society, the constant chase for validation and the rumination in the mind about what others think. I caught myself in this madness before. I know what it feels like and where it all comes from and if we don’t deal with it, it drives us to madness, drama and unnecessary pain. What is underneath your over drive to achieve goals so you get the validation that you are successful? What is underneath the addictive habit of giving to others so you get the validation that you are good and your are liked? What is underneath the anxious mind ruminating on what your boyfriend said to validate if you are loved and sexy enough?

When did we stop loving ourselves?What did go wrong in humanity? What did go wrong in our childhood? How did we forget that innate feeling of love towards ourselves?This hit me the the other day as I was thinking about my own journey of returning to love, recovering my essence that got lost long time ago. What is authentic self LOVE? Let me start by stating what self love isn’t.

I am coming out of the closet! Ha, not in my romantic lifestyle preferences, that happened already in my 30’s! This time I am referring to my deep spiritual side, the spiritual teacher in me is coming out, I have been shy for too long. I am ready to share a lot with you, if you are interested. I have to say I have hard time using the “teacher” word because I feel much more as a student of the Spirit. When we really commit to walk on the spiritual path we become humble students of the Universe, Divine, Source, God, Quantum field…whatever you are comfortable calling this force that is the true creator of all.

Is unconscious fear corrupting your productivity and performance? If you worry a lot, if you struggle with anxiety, if you call yourself a “control freak”, if you feel overwhelmed most days, if you have difficulty sustaining focus, if you live in reaction mode, if your brain feels exhausted…the answer is YES, fear is corrupting your performance. You have that power because the brain is malleable, because you can change your mind and you can make choices that promote growth and healing.

Why work, which is supposed to be a place where we express our art, our talents and build relationships has become so stressful for so many? Is your stress really about work? Pause for a second and ask yourself: what is my participation in my own stress? Our perceptions, beliefs and expectations play a big part in the stress that we create for ourselves. Stress is all about perception, as you know. It is not a situation at work that causes you stress, it is what you think about it and feel about the situation that causes the internal turmoil and discomfort. I am speaking specifically about psychological and emotional stress. (Breath, diet, exercise, sleep, hydration are foundations that if not cared for will cause physiological stress)

What if I told you that your performance and productivity will increase if you commit to less actions and less effort? According to psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyl, author of Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, flow is the state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter. You have experienced this state many times, I am sure. Maybe running, mountain biking, writing or even having a great conversation with your best friend. It is a state where you are fully present, engaged and your mind isn’t thinking about anything in particular. You are just there, totally enjoying the moment and the action feels effortlessness.

Where are you abandoning yourself?

This is a great time of the year to have deeper reflections about your life, your year and evaluate what you want to leave behind and not carry into the new year. Abandonment issues are often discussed in therapist offices or with life coaches like myself. The question I have here for you today is not who abandoned you. I am much more interested in exploring the parts of you that you have abandoned. Have you abandoned your heart? Have you abandoned your body? Have you abandoned your soul calling?

Holidays are the times of great joy and also great stress for many people. I am speaking today about the stress of gatherings, families together. The stress may that uncle, that friend, the sister, the obnoxious brother in law, the mother in law…always someone right? Because you have the power to create new experiences, different experiences for yourself and even others. If you show up being the same person you were in the last holiday dinner, you may have the exact stressful same situation.

Anxiety is prevalent among high achievers, who are the type of clients I work with mostly. High achievers can be described as people who are very goal oriented and like to get things done. They have hard time not being busy, they neglect rest and deep recovery which can lead to imbalances of course, like burn out, fatigue, dis-ease, depression, weight gain and ironically more anxiety

As high achievers our intention from the beginning of our journey was clear, honorable, connected with a great cause...we are driven, motivated, disciplined, fearless in a lot of ways and at some point in time, somewhere we get lost...anxiety and struggle become the quiet energies running through us.

It is not enough. That is what is underneath our voices, that judger that we achievers have inside. That is our pain.